Existential Crisis

Hello anyone who reads this.

I don't really have any idea about what I'm doing, but I think I'll give it a shot. The week has been kind of rough because I had a presentation to give in my advanced counseling class on Tuesday over Existential Counseling. It was horrible. I don't know if I didn't prepare enough or was too anxious or what, but in the middle of the presentation I looked down at my notes and became really upset as the thought occurred to me that I had nothing to add to what was on the handout. I was aware that the whole class was looking at me and, for an instant, I thought about leaving the classroom. However, I pulled it together (after my professor kindly inquired if everything was alright), and courageously finished the presentation. I've been processing this for a couple of days now. I tried so hard on Tuesday afternoon to keep telling myself that everything was OK, that I had an off morning, that my intellect was not determined by that presentation, but the feeling remained that I had failed. This got me to wondering when and if this feeling I had would go away or get better. I can say that it has. Not because I noticed the cognitive distortions that I was replaying in my head and changed them or disputed them, but simply because time went on and life went on. And I think that is one of the major points of existential counseling. Life is hard, but one gets through it somehow. I told several people about the incident. Thanks Emily and Ceceli and Gina and Yumi and Angie and Marc for listening, but nothing they said made me feel differently. Marc definately made me laugh and forget about the incident, but I still had to process it on my own. I'm still wondering if I'm going to be OK going back to class next Tuesday (I have another presentation). But I will do it courageously and know that sometimes life just screws you over.