It's 1:07 a.m. on Monday morning. I'm trying to finish up some homework. I'm getting too old for this - I should have been in bed a couple of hours ago. Another reason I'm still up is because I have to go and pick up my sister and my new brother-in-law at the airport here in a few minutes. They're getting back from their honeymoon. Life is just grand.

A few words to friends who might read this. To my friends from California: I'm glad that the surgery was successful. I pray for a fast and painless recovery. To my little buddy in Tennessee: Happy Birthday! Although you don't realize it yet, you have two of the coolest parents in the world. This first year of your life was filled with nothing but love and care.

I had actually tried to publish a post a couple of hours ago, and it got lost in cyberspace. I guess that was a sign. Sin infests my life. I am so self-involved that I believe that I struggle by myself and I struggle worse than others. Anyway, for those of you who know me well, pray for me because I'm hoping to do something positive that will be helpful to my spiritual journey at the end of today. I'm a little nervous, but I think it'll be good.

I have a cousin who is 9 days older than me. Last night he was involved in an accident. He had been drinking. There was a family in the van that he hit. Four children were killed last night. Another family member died today. I believe three more of the family members are in critical condition. Pray for the family who has suffered such great loss. I can't imagine what they're going through. Pray also for my cousin. The feelings of remorse are a punishment in and of themselves.

Today we celebrated Easter. I got to lead singing in church. It's funny how God uses broken vessels. I'm shattered. The funny thing is that I think I can put myself all back together. Self-control is what I long for; yet at the same time, I want to let God be in control. God, help me figure this out. It's way too complicated for my simple brain.

Got to get to the airport.