the tragedy that was

I led worship at church yesterday. You know, I had gotten pretty confident in my leading abilities. After a lot of people come up to you and tell you that you have a gift for singing and thank you time and time again for leading, you'd probably begin to believe it too. The order of worship for yesterday was the following:

Ancient of Days
You Are Worthy of My Praise
Great In Power

Welcome/Announcements

He Leadeth Me
Step By Step
Just a Closer Walk With Thee

Scripture

You Are My Hiding Place
My Eyes Are Dry

Communion

Jesus, Let Us Come to Know You
My God and I

Message

A Wonderful Savior

Prayer

I know, I know - I went a bit old school with the order, but I thought it'd be OK. The first mess-up that happened was when I started "Just a Closer Walk with Thee." I had had some trouble with the first phrase of this song during practice and was kind of nervous about starting it - it started off a little bit rough and then came together - not too bad. The second error that occurred yesterday was when "You Are My Hiding Place" was ending. I had several people in the congregation that kept going when the song was supposed to end, so I sort of stopped and then continued with them. It looked as if I had messed up. Again, not so big of a deal. The third mess-up was during "My God and I." Seriously, who messes up "My God and I?" It's a church staple. I know that older songs can get kind of boring, so I try to do things to liven them up a bit. I was wanting to follow the hymnal's instructions of bringing out the altos on the second verse and bringing out the basses on the third. Well, I must have had the alto stuck in my head because when I started the song, that's the part I sang. I didn't sing the melody, I sang the alto - and for the life of me, I couldn't switch to the lead. I was so frustrated!! I got down from the pulpit thoroughly upset with myself wondering why in the world anyone would pick me as a worship leader. By the way, I'm also getting paid to do this.

But when did worship become about me doing well or messing up? Worship should be all about God - praising him, adoring him, thanking him, blessing him, etc. In my attempt to lead the congregation in meaningful worship, I lost sight of the fact that it's not about me - ever. I think God appreciates my work in trying to make worship as good as possible, but it doesn't matter to him whether I sing the lead or the harmony - or even if I sing on key at all. What matters is if I'm doing it with the right heart. Yesterday, unfortunately, I was not.

So, we ended with "A Wonderful Savior." It went well - no mess-ups. God is good.

By the way, I'm about to clear a thousand dollars in my fundraising for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Woohoo!!

Thanks for reading.