Happy New Year

Hello people. I hope that everyone had a wonderful and safe holiday. I know that it's been a while since I have posted anything on the blog. For those of you who are wondering, a few more dates have occurred. I think that's a good thing. From one conversation that I had with a friend, I wonder if I should stop trying to fix myself. Now, I certainly can't talk for y'all, but my perception and my understanding is that when a guy (or a girl) gets to be my age, if he isn't married then there is something wrong. I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of things wrong with me - I could talk about issues that I have for hours - but I think I'm going to try to take the advice of one friend and try to stop thinking about making myself better (a sort of selfish approach to things) and just focus on trying to live more like God would have me to live. I am still searching for happiness. Don't get me wrong - I think I'm a lot happier today than I was five years ago, and it's not like I'm in the depths of depression (at least not that I'm aware of). But see, if I constantly try to improve my life by getting my degree, getting a better job, making more money, etc. then to an extent all I'm doing is thinking about myself rather than focusing on things above. I guess I haven't quite gotten the hang of balancing those two things. Should there even be a balancing act? Shouldn't I do everything with God in mind? Oh there are so many things that I'm struggling with right now - being kind, not judging others, being a good worker, keeping a pure mind - sometimes it just seems like too much to handle. Alright I've gone on long enough - I've got thoughts on sin, love, and a whole lot of other things, but if I wrote them here then I would feel like I was doing that whole selfish thing that I wrote about at the beginning of the post. I need to go to sleep. I hope the voices in my head let me.

Thanks for reading.