Analytical

I'm guilty of overanalyzing a lot of things. I was even told this past weekend that I don't accept other people's love because I overanalyze it. For example, if someone gives me a hug, I might think to myself that they're only giving me a hug because they haven't given me one in a while and they feel like they have to. This conversation came about because of something that happened in one of my classes last week.

Our professor is trying to get us to be more confident in ourselves about our counseling. She made us bring an example of what we perceived as a "really bad" counseling session. I was the first person in my class to show my tape. Anyway, after being really nervous and talking about the tape, I made this comment, "You are trying to get me to be more confident. However, you need to know that this lack of confidence runs really deep and is something not easily taken away - believe me, I've worked on it and am working on it. You should know that there's a sense of pride in my self-degradation. I know that sounds weird because when I hear myself say it, I wonder about it. But you see, as long as I put myself down, I can say that I'm not too arrogant - something that I struggle with. Also, I believe that I'm inherently evil, so self-degradation comes naturally with that. As long as I don't think too highly of myself, I know I am not accepting of my evil nature."

Maybe I should just accept people's love and not think so much about my evilness (or focus more on God's grace in spite of my evilness). I don't know. All I know is that while my overanalytical mind may be a curse in some areas of my life it is definitely something that I'm proud of in other areas.

Alright, enough of that. Last weekend, the 17th, I rode 63 miles. I felt alright afterward. We will see what my next longest ride is. Thanks for reading.

Santo, TX

Don't you just love having a great weekend? I had a weekend that made me really happy to be able to go where I want to go when I want to go without really having anyone to answer to about it.

I went to church in Mineral Wells yesterday morning to visit a good friend of mine and his wife that go there. My friend is the youth minister at that church (I seem to have an abundance of friends in youth ministry). Anyway, it was really cool to see my friend lead the congregation in worship - he did a fantastic job - I told him so afterward. While we were worshipping, it dawned on me that we are now at the age where we are part of the church leadership. When did that happen? Wow! After church, we went to an Italian restaurant and then went to my friends' house in Santo, TX. The house is really, really nice and the view...well, it's pretty much just awesome. The house sits on a hill and from the back of the house one can see for miles and miles - it's just beautiful and quiet and peaceful(Why wasn't Sunago there?!?). We spent the afternoon talking about church, worship, friends, and just having a good time. I didn't want to leave, but decided I needed to come back so that I could come to work today.

I will remember yesterday for a long time - it will bring a smile to my face because I cherish the relationship that I have with those friends. It makes me want to visit people more often - so don't be surprised if I give any one of y'all a call and say "hey, I'll be there on ...."

By the way, I rode 37 miles on Saturday. Not too shabby. The Saturday before that, I rode 57 miles - I asked the Lord to come on that day! My training is good and I'm enjoying it. Alright, that's enough for now. Thanks for reading.